Prey for Rock and Roll

"Je suis libre ce soir." --Lori Petty's shirt

(2003) Lesbian Punk Rock Drama
Starring Gina Gershon, Lori Petty, Shelly Cole,  
Drea DeMatteo, and Marc Blucas
Directed by Alex Steyermark
Screenplay by Cheri Lovedog and Robin Whitehouse
Produced by Gina Gershon
Running time: 92 minutes
Rated R
(The credits claim this movie is based on a play, but I couldn't find any further information, unfortunately.) 

The play on words in the title should give you a hint, fools. It's just like Gina says, "What is this? A Rock and Roll intervention?" Yes. Yes, it is. In more ways than one. Somebody I loved brought this movie into my world at a time when I was too cloudy to see the obvious. That being said, years later, I get it. (Even though several serious bits hit way too close to home and are really tricky to sit through without a shot or hit of this or that.) Most of the negative reviews I've read concerning this movie were written by watered-down rockers and men. In other words, if you're one of the few who recognize how seriously lacking the lesbian cultural world is (both books and movies), you'll probably dig Prey for Rock and Roll. Or at least, you won't trash it. I understand many reviewers say it's loaded with cliches. Whatever. If you really want to find cliches, you're going to find them in every form of media and entertainment.

Say what you want about Showgirls and Bound. I'll happily choke down my brown rice and vegetables any day, because Gina Gershon is a bad ass. She's not a fantastic singer, and she probably won't take home any little gold men for her role as "Jacki", but I'd watch her over and over again in whatever she's up to. (We forgive her for whatever the hell that was she tried to pull on Ugly Betty.) Call it a crush if it makes you feel better. She's hot. She's charming. She looks good in leather, and her speaking voice is just so gosh darn smoky. But most of all, she's funny. (We like funny.)

So it's the late 80's in LA, and the plot involves the shenanigans of a struggling all-girl quartet called "Clam Dandy". Yeah, I know. I can totally see a band named something similar making the big time in the Red River District of Austin. And yes, the drummer (Shelly Cole) is that bitchy little prep school droid from Gilmore Girls. For you fellow members of the Scooby Gang, "Animal" is a very tatted-down, fresh-out-of-prison "Riley". Drea DeMatteo will probably look familiar if you're a Desperate Housewives fan. All in all, it's a splendid smorgasbord of the bad gone good and the good gone bad. I don't know about you, but I always find it refreshing to see actors capable of playing different kinds of roles. (I'm trying like the devil not to mention how many times I've seen "Rachel" in something other than Friends. Don't judge. Jen is definitely cute as hell.)

Speaking of, so who's the villain? A guy named Nick. (Again, a little too close to home for me.) He is so gross, from intro to credits. If you're expecting character evolution out of this guy, assume elsewhere. He's more despicable than any Disney villain I've ever known, except maybe the dude who shot Bamby's mom, and he's not even easy on the eyes. He's the 10:00 fries you picked up at the drive-thru well past 2:00. I suppose his existence is essential to the plot, though I'd still like to kick his ass, even after watching him get his ass kicked. I am comforted only by the fact that, evidently, revenge is an aphrodisiac. The progression of the story via band practice montage is right on, though. And of course, there is always the obligatory vomit scene.

When it comes to rating this movie, I'll web it all out for you. 

One spider for really hot chicks.

One spider for catty narration.

One spider for singing even though you shouldn't, playing even though you can't.

One spider for tattooing a guy's forehead who totally deserved it.

And one spider for the girl I miss.

5/5...Come get me, Ebert. I can take it.